Short cut Chicken Manicotti

Prep Time:10 min
Total Time:1 hr
Makes:4 servings, three stuffed manicotti each

1 can (10-3/4 oz.) condensed cream of chicken soup
1-1/2 cups water
1/4 lb. (4 oz.) VELVEETA Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product, cut up
2 cups frozen broccoli florets
12 manicotti pasta, uncooked
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1/2-inch strips
1/4 cup KRAFT 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese

PREHEAT oven to 400ºF. Mix soup, water and VELVEETA in microwaveable bowl. Microwave on HIGH 3 min. or until VELVEETA is melted and mixture is well blended, stirring after 2 min. Pour one-third of the soup mixture onto bottom of 13x9-inch baking dish; set aside. Add broccoli to remaining soup mixture.
STUFF pasta with chicken strips; place in baking dish. Cover completely with remaining soup mixture. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Cover with foil.
BAKE 45 to 50 min. or until pasta is tender and chicken is cooked through.

**Note: I found it pretty bland and ended up adding sauteed onions. The soup mixture doesn't quite cover all of the manicotti so I doubled it.**

Remembering....

....why I love Jason so much.

ME : would you please tell me something that makes you attracted to me?

HIM : the way you make me feel like i am important and not someone on the back burner

 i also think that you are very beautiful

ME : ty honey i needed that

HIM : how about you what about me attracted you to me

ME : honey you look past all my faults and accepted me as who i am.... you know my past and know that i'm not perfect but love me anyways..... you make me feel important to you and will do anything to make me happy...  i know you are the only one i have ever felt comfortable with meeting and talking about anything with... i knew that someday i would be with you because of how comfortable it is to talk with you and at the reception i was very comfortable being around you 

you are very handsome to me also

HIM : as was i with you

ME : i have never been that comfortable around anyone, not even my ex, until the day we met... it felt natural

HIM : very much natural

ME : ty honey this is helping me feel much better

HIM : so are you doing better

ME : yes much

Re-reading things like this from our chat conversations always helps me. I don't know why it does. Well, maybe I do know... I guess sometimes I need to remember why I love him so much. It all comes down from not knowning in my first marriage if my husband loved me or not. I'm sure he did at one point but somewhere in everything it was lost. I would ask him and always got generic answers like "you are beautiful" or "I don't know why". Mostly the latter one. With Jason it's never "I don't know why".  The way I feel about him is the same way he feels about me.

Busy??? Maybe...

I wish I could truly say I'm busy with work and such, but it wouldn't be truthful. I have been busy looking for work but have kept coming up short. Donating plasma twice a week is my way of getting out of the house. It's also the only way I'm making any money (gotta save to move to CA).

 Talking to my girls on the phone for about 15 minutes is the highlight of most of my Friday nights. Sad, huh?

My current craft projects, yes I do mean plural projects, are a dress, 2 to 4 different quilts. One quilt is for me and Jason once we are married and the other's are for a family reunion that is coming up in August. The dress is one I'm making to wear at the Temple. However the progress on the dress came to a halt when my grandmother told me about the family reunion and needing something for the auction. Same with the quilt I'm making for Jason and me. Gotta love ADHD with mulitple things getting done. NEVER boring!!

So most of the time quilting is all I'm doing even when I'm talking to Jason on Skype. Granted he does usually get called to get something for his mom or take the dogs out for a potty break. I love how he is caring for others. Gotta love it!

Updates

I realized I haven't update on here for 5 months and I need to change that. I have been doing good. Currently I'm engaged to a wonderful guy, Jason. Hopefully before Christmas, we will be married and I'll be in CA. Also I hope that the Temple Cancellation will be here before then, too.
Jason and I met thru a mutual friend at the time (neither one of us are no longer friends with her) at my sister's wedding back in March. We hit it off right away, but unfortunately he was with someone and we could only be friends. That relationship he was in wasn't a healthy one and he did eventually break up with her, after much, much prayer. From then on it has been non-stop getting to know each other's personalities. Jason likes to do conventions like Star Trek and dress up as a Klingon, yeah a total trekkie... but I love him anyways. ;) He is totally into family history and believes families are very important. That was good to know, especially when I told him about my past. He didn't push me aside and say that I wasn't what he was looking for. He embraced who I am and that I have faults and is not perfect. He loves me anyways (my ex always thought I had to look like what I did before we were married after have 4 kids).
Jason is a kind and very giving person. That is part of why I love him. In some ways he reminds me of my dad (kind and giving), but don't tell him that he might take it the wrong way. :) We are on Skype everynight talking and dreaming, since it's our current way to date right now.

My girls are doing great and enjoying their summer vacation. The older 3 are taking swimming lessons and loving it. The older two have dived into reading books this summer. Veronica has started to read the Harry Potter books and just finished the second one, she's a quick reader just like me. Angelina seems to be have a little difficulty but she loves the book she reading, don't know the name because everytime I ask she says it so quietly. Mira and Kadee (Kristina) are just having fun. I can't believe that they are already 5 and 3. I miss them so much.

I don't know how Aaron is doing but then again I don't really care all that much. I do hope he is good but don't care for him asking me for a background check on Jason. I never asked for a background check on his former fiancee`, so why does he feel the need with mine? Oh well, to each his own.

That is pretty much all I have to update with and hope everyone is good in their neck of the woods.

Letting go.....

It is so hard to let go but it is a necessary to grow, to learn, and to see what strength you actually have. Going thru a divorce with small children and still loving your soon-to-be ex spouse can be very challenging on so many different levels.

I have always been taught to fight for everything you feel is yours like family &  marriage. I have had both and basically lost them both over night. I fought to the best of my ability to keep my family and marriage together. In the end it feels like I lost my marriage of eight years. I also lost my family after the divorce. I loss the ability be watch my four girls grow up these last 18 months due to being homeless, jobless, and them being in another state.

During all this I have tried to keep in contact with them thru phone calls, skype video calls, packages, and letters. I haven't been able to see them face to face since they left with their father eighteen months ago.

Every time I feel like I'm getting a step closer in reality it feels like five steps back. I went through school and graduated and had a job for five months before being let go. I've been struggling with finding another ever since which has made it harder keeping in contact with my girls.

Then today I find out that my ex-husband is engaged again. I sent him an email telling him congrats. I'm happy for him, I really am. It just hurts to know that he is moving on so fast. It also hurts that I'm still sealed to him and I know he doesn't love me or even wants to be civil towards me.

Granted I'm not perfect. I've mistakes that I'm paying for and that I'm repenting for. I've had a hard time keeping house while I was married and raising four kids. I felt overwhelmed and felt like every time I went to my husband at that time like I wasn't worthy for his help or attention. When I went to the sisters in the ward for help at times, he made me feel even more worthless.

I wonder at times is should I feel guilty for still loving him even after all this. The feelings for him are still there, sometimes I wish they weren't but they are.

I have learned a lot. I've learned that I can get an education and do well with it. I've learned that I have so much strength and courage to get past difficult situations that can be harmful to others. I've learned that I can do things on my own. I can face dark times with out a husband, but doesn't mean that I always want to. I've learned what exactly I want in a spouse and what I don't want in a spouse. I've learned that this experience has strengthen my testimony. I've learned to forgiveness to others and to myself. I've learned most in the temple and it has given me such peace. I've learned much through my friends. They taught me to see my strength and courage. They taught me to see the service I constantly give to others, even the prideful ones. 

A friend recently reminded me that we are all tools of Heavenly Father. That we all have different experiences that could help one another. I hope that my experience will help someone else later in life. 

I'm currently learning patience with finding a job and with others. I'm blessed with many things right now.

The picture below has my girls scattered in with their cousins on my ex-husband's side of the family. In the back row going left to right the 2nd girl is my daughter Mira, then the 5th one is my youngest Kristina (Kadee for short), the 7th one is Angelina, and the front row with glasses is my oldest Veronica.

Why are things so complicated....

I'm so scared that the way I feel, Is written all over my face. When you walk into the room, I wanna find a hiding place. We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do. But now, a smile and a touch of your hand, Just makes me come unglued. Such a contridiction, do I lie or tell the truth. Is it fact or fiction, Oh the way I feel for you.

So complicated, I'm so frustrated. I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away, I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay. Should I say it. Should I tell you how I feel. Oh, I want you to know. But then again I don't. It's so complicated.

Oh..just when I think I'm under control. I think I got a grip. Another friend tells me that, I'm always on your lips. They say I'm more than just a friend, they say I must be blind. Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me from the corner of your eye. Oh, It's so confusing. I wish you'd just confess. But think of what I'd be losin', if your answer isn't yes. 

So complicated I'm so frustrated, I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away, I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay. Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel. Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't, It's so complicated. 

Oh, I hate it. 'Cuz I've waited. So long for someone like you. Oh, what do I do. Oh should I say it. Should I tell you how I feel. I want you to know,but then again I don't. It's so complicated.. It's so complicated.. It's so complicated. Ohh the way I feel for you..

My Birthday Girl!!!! I Miss you Veronica!

Painted face from Central Park.

Easter dress. 

New school outfit from last year. 

Getting pixie dust in Central park!